Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Field Trouble?

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about two and a half years now and in the summer if my parents were home we would drive around and find different and exciting places to have sex. So one summer day we were driving about the country side looking around for fields that looked slightly enclosed and we found one we liked the look of. So we parked up the car and climbed over the gate and found a spot we lay down a blanket so we wouldn't get to muddy and started doing it, as we changed position I realized I was facing a bridge as we both were nearly about to climax we herd a loud noise like a lorry or something we carried on as we were near a hedge and no one would of been able to see us, suddenly over the bridge comes a train, and it drives right next to us past this field... I just remember grabbing the blanket and trying to cover myself up as all these faces looked at us! I was so embarrassed.. That was the last time we ever went in a field again!

Dont have a Baby Monitor!!

My partner works away 3 weeks on 1 off so you can only imagine how insanely sexually frustrated I get when he's away. Anyways last week he got home and I dragged him straight into the bedroom, 5 minutes later his whole fucking family knocks on the door so we had to stop what we were doing and go be good hosts. We decided to have a barbecue and about an hour I couldn't stand it any longer, I called my man inside and took him to the bedroom and we started going at it like jack rabbits on acid. His sister had put his nephew to sleep in our room (who was at this point outside with mum) but she had left the baby monitor on our bed. About 15 minutes later his mum burst through the door and throws the second monitor at us and blasts us for doing such a foul thing when there were children around

Keep the Dog away!

When I was 16 I was dating this guy who was 18. He lived at home with his parents so anytime we felt frisky we just went in his room and locked the door. Well one day we had just finished having sex and we got up to put our clothes on and he threw the condom away in this trash can he had in his room. We went in the kitchen and got some water and when we got back into his room we noticed his dog in the trash. We both yelled eww max get out of there and the dog takes off running with the condom in his mouth! I freaked and ran after him and the dumb dog halls ass into the living room and jumps up on the couch right into his mom's lap! I just froze and turned bright red all his mom said to me was "Oh honey, don't be embarrassed. It's no secret you guys are in there humping like rabbits all the time!" I was so mortified I just went back into his room and started crying 

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Everyone's First time!

So I was seeing this guy for a while I was a virgin at the time he said he didn't mind taking things slow. Anyway so one night we was watching a film and the usual happened we started kissing and teasing each other so things got heated quickly so we decided to have sex he put the condom on and pushed himself inside me it hurt a little so I was just getting used to the pain and when he was fully in and it didn't hurt so much he made this funny noise and said "baby that was amazing" so I laughed and said "very funny lets get started" it was only from he's face I realized he had actually cum and was finished. Literally 2 minutes inside of me. So I just laid there thinking did I really just lose my virginity?

Dont spank each other!

My fiance's job has him gone a lot, so when he comes home we try to do it as much as we can which isn't easy with three kids. Last time he was home, we woke up early and wanted to get in a quickie before the kids got up. He was hitting it from behind and spanking my ass and I guess we were so into it that we didn't hear our 6 year old coming down the hall. Right as I said, "oh yeah! spank me harder!" the door flies open and our little girl is standing there. Did I mention we don't have a lock on our door? lol If that wasn't bad enough, we come out of the bedroom and she asks me, "why were you and daddy spanking each other?" I just ignored the question and went to make breakfast. I sure hope she doesn't remember this when she gets older lol

Keep track of your stuff! :D

My Girlfriend and I attended a party at a friends house. Throughout the evening the alcohol flowed freely and we got rather horny and started searching for a place to have sex in the house to no avail. We ended up in the back yard hidden from view. She was spread eagle over the air conditioning unit and we were going at it when suddenly the AC kicked on and scared the hell out of us. After the laughter and finishing up of course we couldnt find her panties. As we re entered the house from the back door looking sweaty and rather worse for wear, people began questioning where we had been and what were we doing. Of course we denied all accusations and carried on with the fun UNTIL the host let his dog in the back door, & he was carrying her bright red panties in his mouth. BUSTED!!!!

Find a Room!!!

A few months ago, after several months of dating, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. (we were both virgins) We thought of a million places to do it, but they never worked. So back in April, we were in a Dillards at the mall. Next thing I know he's sneaking me into the mens room. We go into the handicap stall, start making out while men of all ages come in and out. My jeans are off and so are his, right as were about to do it, a little boy in the next stall starts having EXTREME diarrhea. We tried not to laugh but that sure as hell ruined the mood

Pillows can be dangerous!

So one night me and my bf went out to eat and had an actual date, as the night went on we decided to go back to his place. When we got there we were all "hot" and in the mood. He told me to bend over and hold onto the dresser, we were still on the bed, and since it was a short dresser he gave me a pillow to put on the edge of the dresser just in case..... he was being super rough cuz that's how I like it, the pillow slipped out from underneath my hands and I smashed my face on the dresser and it turned into a ER trip and I got 14 stitches in my lower cheek, needless to say the pillow made things worse

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Dont forget the handbreak

So my wife, (at the time college girlfriend) and I were visiting my mom. We had just gotten back to her house after leaving a club late one night. It was cold so we pulled in the driveway and sat there talking for a few. After a little conversation things got steamy in the car, so I moved over to her seat and we started going at it. Apparently the car was rockin because 10 minutes later I looked up, wiped the fog off the window, and noticed the car was now sitting in the middle of the street. In our youthful frenzy, I had forgotten to set the parking break. My mom asked me the next morning why we were sitting in the car in the middle of the street at 3am

Dont scare People!

so Last year I went to this beach party and there was two tents set up, one at the fire and one about 20 metres away. 
Anyway, my two friends decided to go and do the deed in the tent away from everyone.
Aparently after they finished up she went down on him and started giving him head, at that point in time a couple of friends thought it would be funny to go up rattle the tent and scare the shit out of the two of them.
The rest of us were sitting down at the water and next thing you hear is this horrible high pitch scream.
They both come running out screaming.
Turns out when the rest of my friends went to scare them, she bit down on his dick.
It was so funny but in the end we had to call an ambulance and he got 3 stiches on his wang

Having a Train Quicky

Me and my husband was coming back on the last train and the train wasn't so busy so my husband requested a blowy, I kindly obliged. I told my husband to keep watch while I did it, anyways my husband got right in the moment and must of closed his eyes through enjoying it so much, next thing to my horror we hear 'tickets please' I stop look up to see a ticket inspector who had complete shock on there face then I caught them trying not to laugh.then we thought they would just walk off to get sorted but no he waited while My husband had to quickly put himself away with a massive hard on and dig our tickets out his jeans pocket. The look of disgust the inspector had when my husband handed over the tickets, to add to the embarrassment the ticket inspector said would you kindly wait till you get off the train to do that :-o embarrassed much

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Find a Better place!!

So one time, me and my boyfriend were in the car and I kept picking on him, and of course he couldn't do anything about it because he was driving, so he continuously made the threat "you're gunna' get it when we get home" course I wasn't afraid, and continued to laugh and pick.
When we get home, we go straight to his room, (he shares a room with his cousin for the moment) he pretty much dragged me to the bathroom and pushed me too my hands and knees, by this point I was excited with the rough play. So after some nips and kisses and so on I began giving him a BJ. After a time I move to sit on the toilet as he gets closer to exploding, he strips me of my shirt and I continue. Unfortunately, his cousin and brother decide to be funny and bang on the bathroom door. The door wasn't closed good and swung wide open right at the exact moment he nuts on my boobs. His knees give out and it's a mess as I scramble to hide yet close the door at the same time. To this day, his brother and cousin still make fun of us for it.

BirthControl!

My boyfriend and I love sex. We like the feeling, how much we do it, and how easy it is. One night while we
were getting busy, I tried a new form of birth control, spermicide. Everything was going good until my
boyfriend has his "ohhh" face to this horrible painful face. I stop and ask him what was wrong. He told me nothing so we got back to it. After about five more minutes, he flings me off of him and he runs
screaming into the bathroom holding his pecker. Here I am, naked and just kinda wondering what the bloody
fuck. He comes back to the room his dick red with tears streaming down his face and him just cupping his boys. All he told me was "It burns,really,really, bad." I couldn't help but to start laughing at the situation. He asked what it could have been since I usually just take the pill. When I told him I used spermicide he read the directions and we found out that day you use them after sex, not before. Oops!{

Strep Cock

This is a story of caution more than embarrassment. When my ex-boyfriend and I were still together, we both came down with strep throat. We took antibiotics, got "better," thought nothing of it. Since my throat didn't bother me anymore, I went down on him and swallowed his cock, which he loves! Few weeks later this bump showed up on his dick that looked a lot like an ingrown hair or a pimple. He started to worry when it wouldn't go away so he saw a doctor who had no idea what it was. One doctor after another and months later this mysterious infection went undiagnosed until it had spread so bad he had to have surgery! We were told by the specialist performing the surgery that it was rare, but I had actually given him strep on his cock. We couldn't have sex for nearly two months after. I felt really bad at the time, but considering he was a cheating asshole, I consider it horrifically awesome that literally scarred him for life.

Wasted Fun!!

I was dating a girl and we never had sex but i ate her out. One night we had a party at my house and she was not there. I passed out in the living room on a air mattress. While I was a sleep I guess she had come over drunk and tried to have sex with me, little did she know I was wasted. She pulled my pants down in the living room and got on top and started grinding, till she finally understand that it wasn't going to happen. She looked up saw everyone watching and ran out the door. Left me there pants down, and passed out. There are still pictures of her doing that floating around.

Double Embarrassment!

My fiance and I were at his mother's for the weekend. His mom watched the baby while we went in the hot tub with his cousin. His cousin left so we decided to have sex. There's a gazebo over it and you can barely see through the steam. When we were done we went back inside. I was in the bedroom when I hear his cousin say, "well I tried to come back out but you guys looked pretty busy so I came back in." he says this right in front of my mother in law. My fiance says well you must be mistaken we didn't have sex in the hot tub. He comes in the room and goes hunny he caught us. I told everyone nothing happened. Bet yet he didn't just leave though he probably stood there jerking off. Then his mom opens the door and hands us the baby monitor and says I don't think you want everyone hearing your conversation. The next morning any time anyone mentioned the hot tub I walked away lol.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Banned from Church!

When i was 22 I was dating an ex girlfriend also 22 at the time and we had sex all the time and would do it anywhere. Well her family is all into church and invited me to church one Sunday. So I go, the pastor was preaching and my ex is sending me freaky texts throughout the service making it hard to pay attention to what the pastor is saying. Well after church we went out to eat and had to return for evening service. Well we get to the evening service early where as nobody's at the church but us her parents and maybe 4 other people. Well while sitting in the car we start kissing and she takes off her panties. I stop her and was like chill we at church. She tells me that she always wanted to do it in church. With hesitation I said ok where. so we go in the church and she takes me in the baptism pool. Which was right above the choir stand in front of the church. So we go at it and about 15 mins into it. the pastor cuts on the water to fill the pool to preparing to have an actual baptism service. He looks right at us and told us to get out of there and calls her father. Lets just say I didn't go back ever again. An the funny part is i pulled out when i nutted and got it all over the pool the pastor didn't clean it out and started dipping people in the water. SMH!!! Now that was embarrassing. Getting caught having sex in the baptism pool by the pastor.

Shocking Towel

My boss and I had an affair at work. We couldnt get enough of each other and had sex every chance we got. Store open and awaiting customers, didnt matter. One day we were going at it and made quite a mess and a customer came in so we quickly got redressed and hurrird out to the sales floor. After selling our customer what was needed I was laughing at the mess we had made, a little bit of his strange a little bit of mine. He tossed me a towel and said "use this". I hid the towel in the bathroom to take home and wash it. Needless to say I forgot to take it home and when I came into work the next day my coworker had the towel ON HIS HEAD. He said he was running late and he had washed his hair in the sink at work! I busted out laughing and couldn't look him in the face. When my boss came around the corner he busted out laughing as well. Our coworker didn't find the humor in the fact that he was wearing his bosses strange. He didnt believe what we had said when we basically openly admitted to an affair.Till this day I can't stop laughing whenever I think about it.

Parking Lot Embarrassment

My husband and I are not real dangerous but we were at our sons pee wee football game and it was half time. We had went out to smoke. He was teasing me all night with kissing my neck and ears and what not. So he says come on I have an idea. He gets me in the back of our SUV and proceeds to pull down my pants and panties, spreads my legs apart and goes to licking and it's feeling really good and I am about to cum for the 3rd time and I hear giggling. I freak out and we get up and I get my pants back up and look and there is this couple who was parked beside us and they just give us a look like oh yeah we know. I was so Embarrassed! My husband thought it was funny. He reminds me o that every time we pass that stadium.

Face Creampie with own Cum!!

So this is a pretty good one, I was 17 and had a banging hot red headed girlfriend who was 27. I only had 20 minutes till I had to leave for work and we started going at it in her bed. The climax was amazing and we both came at the same time, just after wards her phone rang and she answered it still on top of me with me inside her still. She was gabbing away and I was gonna be late for work.
I put my arms above my head and was wiggling down out of the bed between her legs while she was gabbing away.
Sure enough right when my face is between her legs arms still above my head she starts laughing with her friend on the phone... Yea I got a huge cream pie all over my face and my automatic reaction was slamming my elbows into her stomach knocking the wind out of her.... lol

Playground Fun

Last year I got talking to this man, our kids were friends, he's quite a bit older than me, but he was canny enough. After a while he invited me round for a cuppa, so I went and he was telling me how he liked me ect, next thing you know we go to kiss. Well all I could see were these teeth coming at me and then his lips round my chin and on my nose. He said he has only ever been with one person before, but that and the kiss didn't put me off, he took me to his bed. A single bed!! We get undressed, he gets on top and no word of a lie, after going in and out 2 times, he stops and kisses me, then in another 2 times, kisses. And this carries on for a while. Obviously he was doing it to stop him cumming so quick. So I thought, right, I will play with myself while he is in me, as it usually feels really good that way and I need some pleasure. So I put my hand down there, he looks and gets embarrassed and starts giggling. After half an hour of this, he finally finishes. Safe to say i never went back again, and try avoid him when we collect our kids from school. And I did get a message telling me it was the best he ever had. Pity I couldn't say the same ..

Church Badluck

So, a couple of weeks after me and my boyfriend had split up we were texting, I was out drinking and like most people it makes me horny! Lol. So we decided I was going to go back to his for some 'fun'. His mum and step-dad were in so we had to be really quiet. Things got heated and I was giving him head when I thought I just had a bit of a runny nose, then I thought shit I really did have a runny nose! I opened my eyes and realised it wasn't snot, I was having a nose bleed, there was blood absolutely everywhere, we were covered in it! Anyway, the morning came and I got a taxi home, make up everywhere, blood over my top and tights in my hand, pretty obvious what I'd been up to. I got in the taxi and he said "erm isn't that the priests house you've just come out of!? Looks like you had a great night!" oh I forgot to say his stepdad is a priest, I also left my thong in the taxi! Was just my luck I got the same taxi driver the weekend after, yep he remembered!

Suprise!

So my husband (now x) and i always had trouble getting alone time with our 3 kids in the house. One night after hours of babying baby's we finally get them to sleep and go straight to the bedroom. We both know it may be awhile before we get this chance again, so we go at it like crazy ending with anal. We both get off and lay beside eachother very satisfied, when my husband rolls over to turn on the light and grab a smoke. We notice we are both covered in brown stuff (what we think is shit) both of us are mortified! He runs to get in the shower and i start stripping the bed when i hear "hey babe its fucking chocolate" then i notice the chocolate wrapper one of our kids snuck and hid in our bed expecting us not to notice ...... oh we noticed alright!

Tampon Fun!

Me and my boyfriend were at his dad's house, I needed a tampon but didn't dare ask as it was the first time we'd met, so he went and Said "have you got an ermm ermm" his step mum thought she knew what he ment and went in search for "a tampon" after searching for about 20 mins she pulled out some condoms. We then had to have the awkward conversation that I didn't need a condom but a tampon. We were all very embarrassed and uncomfortable for the rest of the 3 day stay.

Keep a condom!

I was dating this girl for a while and we had sex pretty often. We went into my room and searched for a condom but couldn't find one so she just told me to pull out when i had to cum. So we go at it for a while and of course when i had to cum she was on top and it felt too good i couldn't say anything and i waited for the last second and i grabbed her hips and basically threw her off of me. She rolled back off the bed and hit her head on a chair. She was unconscious for about ten seconds then came to asking what had happened. I felt so bad afterwards i always make sure i have condoms available

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Shaving Fun!

Back when Myspace was the only social network to be on, I had met this girl online. We are both teens and I already had a few sexual encounters, but for her, she was still a virgin. She decided she wanted to lose it to me and so I was happy to oblige. The only thing I didn't like was the fact that this was her first time doing anything sexual, she never shaved before. So once we were done I told her she should trim herself up the next time we hang out. *Fast forward a few weeks* So here we are again laying down, I take her panties off and immediately I say 'What the Fuck?!' She said her was too long and the razor wouldn't work so she tried to use scissors to get down to a level to shave but it just wouldn't happen. There were so many patches.... I wanted to laugh so hard, but she tried her best and it was all for me. Lol, she figured out what to do.. But that image in will forever be ingrained in to my brain.

Blowing some Cummm...

When I went home on leave last year, I met up with this girl I had hooked up with a few times. We went out to a bar, got a good buzz going, then ended up back at her house and immediateley started going at it. We were having sex about an hour and a half and in my alcohol induced state just couldn't cum, so she started giving me head, and this girl really knew what she was doing. Didn't take long and I felt somethin building up. I remembered she loved swallowing but just in case I gave her a courtosey tap and right when she lifted her head up I nutted... Straight up her nostril. At this point alot of things happen. I started dying laughing, she starts freaking out and runs to the bathroom and starts trying to blow my cum out of her nose, which just makes me laugh harder. I havent seen her since that night and I dont expect to see her next time I'm home lol

First time fail!

Me and my housemate went out one night for christmas with a few friends. When we got back we were talking for about an hour and drinking more, after a while we both went our seperate ways and went to bed. About 5 minutes later a knock arrives at my bedroom door to find my housemate but naked asking if I wanted to do something we'd both regret the following day, so I agreed. Everything was going great, and it was getting heated in the room, when he comes out with "I dont know where to put it, i'm a virgin!!" so I was mortofied of the fact that he had come out with that statement, but didnt want to let him know that, so I had helped him put it in. All was going great until we went to do another position, and his penis had basically failed him as a man, and he was then the one embarrassed at the fact that he had not been able to perform anymore and he went off crying.

Just like the movie!

So my friend at the time decides to hold an ann summers party, we were all having a fun time until she says time for everyone to leave, I was sleeping over hers at the time & went to cook some nibbles, I called to her to say it was ready, no reply. So I go up to her room where she was and there is blood everywhere! Turns out she was horny and decided to use the empty wine bottle to "relieve herself" the bottle had got stuck and had smashed inside her cutting her vagina. So I called 999 and the paramedics came so we went to hospital I'll never forget the look of embarrassment on her face explaining how she ended up in that state! WARNING TO OTHERS DON'T USE BOTTLES STICK TO SEX TOYS!!

YUCK

so i went on a family trip to see some family members that i have not seen in years. my visit was for only a week. the whole time i was down there my favorite cousin as a child brought me off partying etc. the last night there he brought me to his girlfriends friends house. After a few too many drinks i took this woman up to her bedroom and things started to get heated we tried a lot of positions and finally when i was goin to cum and her too by the noises from her we finished.I felt wetness slide through my legs and all over my sack.Not trying to be rude i went to the bathroom to clean myself up when i seen scuttery shite all over me i almost got sick anyway i sobered up quickly afterwards and left the house along with my cousin stil there i don't know who was more embarassed me or her

Expiration Date

Me and my boyfriend wanted to add a little spice to our love life by using some aerosol whipped cream. So he got the can from the fridge and brought it to our dark bedroom, he sprayed it all over my boobs and started to lick it off. He said tasted funny and I thought that it would just be the taste of my body lotion but he said it kept getting worse, so he turned on the light. It was all green from mold. I started laughing hysterically but he wasn't very amused.. It killed the mood for the night though. As you'd expect he had a queasy stomach all night long.

Dad veiws the Fun!

So for me in the bedroom anything goes. Except anal. Ha but I like props and toys and dress up time, things like that. I was dating this guy a while back and his birthday was coming up. I decided to set up a little alone time away from everything. I rented a room in town and did everything from bubble bath to music to hot oil, I had the whole set up going on. I had on a corset top, stockings, a garter set, high heels, all that. I texted the ex the address of where I was and told him to get his ass there now. I wait until he says he's ten minutes away and hand cuff myself to the headboard. Just one wrist. Well I hear the door knob turn and in walks him and his father! We're all like deer in head lights and I freak out! his dad ends up laughing and running out, I'm like wtf to the guy! He shows me the message I sent him and turns out I said get your DAD here now. And he did not think to ask why do I need to bring my dad????? Ugh. Horrible.

Monday, February 18, 2013

Sleepy Head!

So my boyfriends passing out from the army was a couple weeks ago and we booked a hotel room for afterwards.. We had been drinking and all night we were teasing each other.. We even snuck into one of his friends rooms for a quicky.. After a while finally it was time to go back to the hotel room.. I was totally up for a massive sex fest.. We started making out and things quickly got heated.. We were going at it with him on top and all of a sudden he stopped and lay on top of me. Took me a second to realise he fell asleep in me. Not only did this just happen once, it happened twice. Yes, twice. He then rolled over and started to finger me but surprise surprise, he fell asleep. Safe to say I wasn't impressed.

Grandma got a suprise!

well it all started on a lads night out in Belfast, me and a couple of mates decided to head out as we needed a catch up. We started off at my house where the drink was flowing, by this stage I was heavily intoxicated and by this I mean the worst in my life. So we all headed out and we went into the bar, we kept drinking away and the Craic was 90, so about an hour or two into the night I went up to the bar too get another beverage and this stunning brunette (I think) started chatting away to me so after getting along fine and after a snog or two she invited me back to hers. So we went back to her mums house, we were in her bedroom going at it and after I done the deed I went into the bathroom, I walked back into what I thought was her room took my boxers off and climbed back into bed and fell asleep, a while later I was woke up by screaming and a couple of thumps to the head - turns out I went into her grans room and slept beside her gran naked, needless to say I was out of that house quicker than lightning..

Embarrasing Mom!!

So this guy who I really liked, came round my house for the day. I asked my mum if she could give us some space, so I think she knew what was going on here. It started very slowly and awkward as it does. He then said "shall we go upstairs?". JACKPOT! I knew what was gonna happen. We got to my bedroom and were just laying on my bed when he told me to close my eyes. So I did. He then started to passionately kiss me, I kissed back and things got really heated. Then we started to undress each other, then he moved down to give me head. He was going for about 10 minutes before I cummed in his mouth. He swallowed! Then he asked me if I wanted him to f**k me, I obviously replied yes. And oh my god it was the best sex ever! I don't think I've ever screamed and moaned as much as I did. So after we finished, I took off his condom and put it in a box to then put it in a bin. We then went out acting completely normal until I get a call from my mum saying "I need to speak to you, I've found something which I think is yours?". She did aswell, I forgot to take the boxed condom out into the bin. Never felt so awkward in my life.

Having fun with the Daughter

My self and the lads were on our holidays in the canaries. We were staying in greenfields hotel and having a great time.
So we go out one night and meet a load of ladies in the club, one lady in particular took my fancy, so me being me chatted away with her and we were soon snogging the face off each other.
At the end of the night she asked what hotel I was stayin in so I told her and it happened she was staying there too, so we were heading back to the hotel and we stop a few times to snog passionately and fondle each other, we finaly reach the hotel and are more or less doing it in the corridor things have gotten so heated between us.
I have her pinned against the wall hand up her mini skirt and her hand deep in my shorts when she pushes me backwards through this door. I throw her up on the table in this room, rip off her clothes and my own and we proceed to have very rough noisy sex.
As we're mad at it the door opens suddenly and the lights come on and I hear a man shouting "what the f**k are you doing", I turn around to see this man standing there staring at us open mouthed and my bare milky white bum looking at him when the lady in question goes " oh my god dad get out" and he replys "thats my f*****g desk u dirty b******s".
Oops - he was the hotel manager and I was banging his daughter on his desk.
I got dressed and went up to my buddys and told them what happened. We had a great laugh of it, that was until the next morning when we were all asked to leave the hotel, haha!

Embarrasing Night out!

a couple years ago i went out with some friends to a couple bars just to relieve some stress, i wasnt planning on meeting anyone or hooking up until this guy started sending over some drinks so i thought hey! why not! i might as well go over there and talk to him, when i got over to where he was i had realized that he was missing a tooth right in the front but since i was already buzzed up it didnt really matter to me.. so we started dancing and he started putting his hand up my dress so i was ready and willing to leave with him, we get back to his place and i start stripping for him and he falls asleep, so i decided to give him head maybe that will wake him up so i lay him down and i sit on his face and start going at it and while im sitting on his face he pukes, rolls over and poos himself and it got all over me! he wakes up goes to the bathroom to clean up and i went into the other one to clean off and he comes out and asks if he can lick the puke off my vagina and to make matters worse while he asked me this he started weeing himself ..last time i ever leave with someone from a bar i dont know!!!!!

Pre-cum

I was seeing this guy for about 2 months, he decides he only wants fun but I didnt so we called it a day (we didnt have sex during this time) anyway, as time went on, he kept finding excuses to meet up or for me to go round his & help him out with stuff & he would always try it on & I would always pull back... Xmas just gone, 7 months after we stopped seeing each other, he asked me to help him wrap his presents for his Son, I said yeah sure, I went round, did the wrapping.... He tried it on... I thought, hm why not, I was getting horny, we got undress & he put a condom & I was in the mood for a proper hard time.... As soon as he put his penis in..... He cum... whether you call that sex or not, I do not know as there was no shagging.... I was MORTIFIED, we got up, got dressed, I left, 10 mins later, I recieved a text from him ' Please dont tell anyone, my Pride is dented, thats never happened before'.... I never went back again...

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Queefs!!

Well a few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were doing the deed. He goes on for a long time so when he finally pulled out and laid down he had apparently forced air up in my lady part from the in and out motion haha and I straight up queefed so loud! It sounded like a disgusting fart... He looks at me and says "oh, well... Excuse you!" In a teasing yet awkward sort of way and all I could say was "no that wasn't a real fart!" Lol I was so embarrassed :( he thought it was hilarious but I did not!

bondage Fun!

The finace' and I got a night off from the kids, so we took full advantage. I'm into bondage so I took off my shirt and bra and he tied me to the head board on my knees. He then took off my pants and layed em on the bed.We started going at it. He slapped my ass really hard and it made me scream. He's telling me how I have been bad and deserve punishment. 20 mins later my dad bust thru our bedroom door (they keep a key cuz my mom babysits). He gets an eyeful and runs out. Apparently my mom has to see for herself cuz she pops in and turns around quickly and walks out. We get dressed and go to find out what the hell is going on. We walk in on my parents convo which was one I never wanted to hear. My mom was asking my dad, "Why don't we try that tying up stuff?" My dad catches my eye and walks out the house. Mom then tells me they received a call from my phone and heard what he was saying, the slap, and my scream and thought he was beating me so they came to the rescue. That night I learned to never leave my phone in my pants and to make sure it is off before we have sex. Took a month for my dad to be able to talk to me face to face. Most embarrassing thing ever.

Roommates Suck!

So when I was living in the dorms, I shared a room with another girl. I was single and ready to mingle, so I hooked up with an old flame. Super hot frat boy! I made sure my room mate was going to be gone at a study group for the next three hours, and I asked for some "personal time". So I snuck him in and we started the foreplay. All of our clothes were off and the condom was out. Suddenly we heard the lock, and I hide him under the pillows and blankets, and cover myself up. I played off that I was in the middle of dressing, and she proceeded to have a conversation with me obviously NAKED, but no clue there was a sexy naked man in my bed. Twenty minutes later, she used the bathroom and we kinda dress, but she is too fast, so he has to hide again! At this point, he wasn't breathing so well under my fuzzy comforter. It took her 45 minutes to leave, and she never knew! I kicked him out because the mood was ruined, and never tried to sleep with him again (we got caught our first try to sleep together too!)

Anal Fun!

I met someone at a club, he asked me to dance and things got a little heated on the dance floor. I decided to throw my rule book out the window and take him home. Nobody had ever got me that hot in a public place and so i went for it. I took him home and we could hardly control ourselves in the taxi. Inside my house we didnt waste much time and was soon naked, ( condoms issued etc) he was just so hot, the first time was pretty quick but we both came. Then i thought it was over so we made small talk, but he went at it again. Great. Im shouting out all sorts of things, completely lost in it, Only this time for some reason i shouted 'stick it in my arse' which i have never offered before... So he did.. It hurt like hell but i soldiered on cause after all id asked for it??! Then he cums.. but I hadn't ,. He puts a fresh condom on and goes back in my pussy with me on top at this point im thinking great he can still keep going??! So im riding him, and i cum and so does he. Hes grinning up at me and im thinking wow! Then we sort of smelt it.... When id came i had poo'ed. I am mortified!! I wanted him to leave but he just laughs and says 'well u asked me too fuck the shit out of u!' He gets up pulls the sheets off, whilst im hoping the ground swallows me up. Still so embarrassed i want to die, He cleans up the mess, even taking my sheets downstairs and putting the washer on. He then carries me into the shower and tries to calm me down. We get washed up, and as i get dried he makes the bed and then throws me onto the bed and he wants too go again!!! I expected him to freak out but i made a bigger deal out of it than him. We ended up dating for over a year but i never let him in my arse again.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Shopping Fun

Here's my story. My ex girlfriend and I had lost our v cards to each other and were crazy for each other. So one day while we were at the mall we went to Dillard's. We found a dressing room and we started having sex. But we had some clothing to "try" on for reasons of we got caught. While she was riding me a lady came into the dressing room knocking on doors checking if people were in them, so we decided to finish and get dressed. But as she knocked on our door I came everywhere as my girlfriend stood up. The old lady witnessed it all. We were freaking out. I walked out and she stared at me and asked me what was wrong with me. I ignored her walked fast and called my girl and told her to meet me downstairs. We left and got back to her house. Worst thing is, that old lady was my girlfriends best friends grandma. But she never ratted us out.

Boner Boy!!

About 3 years ago I took a life drawing class at my college. There we arrived at 10am and for 2 1/2 hours drew the human figure. Most of the nude models were other college students. Most of these models happened to be female as well. About a month into the semester we got our first male model. He did the job right, wasn't creepy, and seemed nice. One day our female nude didn't show up on time and our teacher calls the male model to replace her. WELL...about an hour in she finally shows up! Wouldn't you know the professor sees this as a great opportunity to use both models.
As soon as she took off her clothes and got onto the platform you could see how nervous he got. I think I may remember he wouldn't really look at her at first. She was curvy and very attractive. The first pose they were asked to stand back to back (her being alittle taller) with their hands intertwined. Well I think I know what everyone was thinking and were most of the female students were looking. Naked in front of about 20 students, and soon the female behind him, the poor guy gets a huge boner. It wouldn't go away. Our professor ignored it, the students tried to, and the guy looked like he was going to pass out from embarrassment. I don't have a great memory of the exact details, but eventually they had to turn around and the the other model saw it then. He was given the option to take a break but didn't respond or seem to want to speak. The next 40 minutes we watched him fight to control his boner only to see it swell up a few more times. After the class the laugher started and Boner~Boy was born!

Sex in the open

I was at my boyfriends house,well boyfriends dads house, I went over there to watch a couple movies and cuddle, you know , girly kinds of things. We were both cuddled up on his couch watching the Disney movie tangled, well he started getting a little touchy feely, so I was like what the hell his dad is in bed. So I went along with it, and things started to really heat up, I was wearing jeans with a belt, so he un did my belt and pants and pulled my pants down just enough to do work down there. He was wearing basketball shorts so it was easy for him to just whip it out. So we are in the spooning position just going at it and I look up and his dad is walking into the kitchen, we both just freeze, my boyfriend asked his dad what he was doing awake , his dad couldn't sleep, then his dad noticed we were watching tangled and he decided to sit down on the chair right next to us an watch couple minutes of it, well couple minutes turned into the entire movie. And the whole time my boyfriend was still inside me. We still laugh about it till this day.

Park Fun

Alright, so this happened two summers ago. My boyfriend and I had been together a few months and neither of us was particularly experienced, but we'd started messing around. We were hanging out in this park just outside of town, and since it's not used very often and we'd been totally alone for like an hour since we'd gotten there, we decided to go into the bathroom (a one room, one toilet little brick building) and have a little fun. My shirt and bra were on the floor and I was on my knees when there was a knock on the door. Since I'm not the sort of person who usually does this sort of thing in public, I freaked out and got dressed so quickly I scratched myself. It turns out an elderly couple had walked along the path behind the park and were sitting on the bench while they waited for the bathroom. The bench was far enough to the side that when the door opened, they couldn't see who was coming out. My boyfriend had to open the door and I had to slip out and move quickly with my back pressed to the wall around the corner, with the door concealing me so they wouldn't know there had been two people in there. It's funny now, but I stayed hidden behind that wall until they left, I was so embarrassed.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

TMI

A few years ago my ex and I were going at it on our lunch break at his moms house, because it was a mutual place to meet only because we both worked on opposite areas, anyways we were really going at it with the lights off the bedroom door was cracked open. Finally reaching our climax, all if a sudden we see sunlight coming from outside. My ex jumps off of me I run to the bathroom not thinking my clothes were still on the floor, and I hear laughing.. Here I am thinking holy sh*t his moms home! I thought she was at work (she's a flight attendant) come to find out, it was his mom's boyfriend, and he knew we were doing it, so he went back outside because he was embarrassed as well and didn't know what to do. And I walked out Finally fully dressed to face the music flushed red and my ex and him were laughing and talking about how his mom's bf and his former gf(before my ex mom were together) were going at it and her son caught them... And telling us he had her spread eagle... tmi. Most awkward moment

Neighborly Love

So my guy and have have been seeing each other for almost 2 years were both in our early 30's and each have a preteen. We spend a lot of weekend time at my place with the kids since we don't live together so we get creative when the mood hits us because now we can't just make the kids take a nap. Well we were in the kitchen whipping up some lunch when the mood struck and we went at it.... there's a small porthole opening that looks from the kitchen through the family room so we could see the kids coming down the hallway without them really seeing us so we were really getting into it. He had both of his hands full of my hair as I was bent over the counter hugging my coffee maker and biting down on a dish towel to stiffle to moans when the Backdoor in the kitchen flies open and there stands not only my neighbor but her mother and grandmother with front row seats to the show... I was mortified but my neighbors grandmother turns to her and tells her to take some lessons from me and maybe she'll eventually keep a man around lol

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Neighbor fun!!

my best guy friend & i are neighbors so one night everyone was sleeping & so we hung out watching videos & talking then as usual one thing led to another so we started having sex on his couch then realized that his moms bed was on the other side of the wall so we moved to the floor. im a very loud person when it comes to sex so he tried to make sure to muffle my moans/screams so i wouldnt wake anyone up. then right as he was done cumming his mom woke up & we were buttnaked on the living room floor, he snatches the blanket off me to cover himself & i quickly dress (so quick i lost my underwear & put my pj's on backwards) & as soon as i pull my pjs up she comes walking through trying her hardest to see who i am b/c i turned my head since she doesnt know we have sex & as shes in the bathroom i ran out & when i got home he texted saying she heard us & knew it was me. the most embarassing thing was she found my underwear shoved in a cushion, washed, & gave them to him. we laugh so hard about it now lo

Check your tent!

a few years back me and my boyfriend at the time decided to go camping with his friends, we were using the tent he used for night fishing. we wait for everyone to settle down then we started getting down to it, he stripped to his boxers then stripped me down to my underwear, we're kissing and groping, getting in to it when i got a sharp pain in my leg so i told him to stop as i couldn't pull my leg off the sleeping bag, he had a look with my phone light then freaks out saying he thinks i've got a fish hook in my leg but wasn't sure as he couldnt see. then he shouts his mate asking for a torch and his multi tool. his mate then barges in the tent with the torch shining on me, i'm there in all my glory, i couldn't even cover myself up with anything as the sleeping bag was stuck to my leg and my clothes were no where to be seen.

Be quick!

Me and my ex boyfriend finally started having sex after 6 months. And after we started we did it ALL the time, we didn't care where we were at. It got to the point where we were really stupid about it. 
We'd do it in the house while everyone was there with my door unlocked and my parents in the room right next to us. 
And one day that finally came back to bite us in the ass.
(me and my little sister shared a room at the time)
So we were on her bed. And we were doing it when my mom walked in. Thankfully the only thing that was off were our pants and I managed to get mine on fast enough and sit up so that she didn't realize that we were having sex. She just thought I was giving him a bj. Lol
To this day my mom picks on me about it and tells me how gross my ex's butt looks.

I like to Pee!!

Here's my story, or one of many haha. I was on leave back in April, home for 10 days before I got stationed at my duty station. Marine Corps! Anyways, I had plenty of sex while on leave, but this was a first. So I hooked up with an old friend, we were getting it in every other day. The sex was great, we'd been talking about the next time I'd be home how we'd do this that and the third. So we're in my room doing the damn thing, I was on my 3rd nut I think.. So just as i'm about to release my beautiful unborn children or so I thought, I began peeing in her! Wow! I know, I know. She looks up at me and asks, "Did you just pee in me?" haha I start laughing my ass off! I told her no but who was I kidding. I got up went to the bathroom finish pissing and jumped right back in her! Needless to say we're still cool. She still wants the D despite the fact I'm 10,000 miles away!

This isnt Narnia!

So me and my girlfriend at the time were at my house, and my mom had just left to go to the store, I thought we has enought time to have sex, so we went for it! Halfwau through, my mom comes back and my girlfriend ran in the closet. My mom walks in my room, opens the closet door, and sees my girl nakes. Not knowing what to do, she just says, "What? This isn't Narnia!!!" and walks out, i laughed so hard! haha!

Tampon Fun

So iwas at the very end of my period, so barely spoting. Of course i let my fiance know, but he didn't care, he'd waited a week &still Wanted some. (He told me early in the morning) so at night after my shower i put in my tampon as usual, just incase i misjudged my period length, completely forgetting my fiance said he wanted to have sex that night... so fast forward to bedtime, he's layin there &i give him some head, and he starts to put it in, but for some reason couldn't get it in, so he feels down there &is like' i feel something there' &i swore up n down there was nth, (I FORGOT MY TAMPON WAS IN) so i went to the bathroom and quitly took it out, and went back to bed, and continue to deny there was anything there ! And we continued to do our do To this day ill never forget that ! So embarrassing

Never too old for Sex

By the time I turned 19, my girlfriend and I were already 1 year together. Our relationship had a lot of flare, and she was always getting freaky everywhere we went. We had already done it in the beach, her house, my house, movies, and the mall, but never the park. One day we were at the park close to her grandma's house around 8pm where everything was dark. We were already in the car when she started climbing up on me and taking my shirt off. She was really getting into it, since there was no one parked beside us. There was only one car but nobody was in there. As she was riding on me, moaning loud and all, I heard a loud thump that scared me. We both went down thinking that someone was going to see us. As we were lifting up our heads slowly to see outside what was causing the noise, I noticed that the car beside us was rocking back and forth, as if someone was really getting it on in there. We tried to see who it was, and my girlfriend was the first one to burst out with a scream of disgust. As I narrowed my eyes to see better who it was, I finally noticed that the couple in the car next to ours was my girlfriend's grandparents. I started laughing so hard that they heard me and they stared at us with great shock. At that moment all of us had our eyes wide open, having a very awkward and embarrassing moment. I will never forget that day. Now days, I always make fun of my girlfriend when we're about to have sex.

Pregnancy is not a good time!

When i was pregnant with my daughter the doctors had told my husband that we had to have sex to simulate my cervix's to start to contract right. Well i told my doctor i wasn't really in the mood to fuck my husband cuz i was to tired. But anyways when it hit night time all of a sudden i was in the mood so we start having sex! hard core and right when he was about to cum my water broke on him! he was freaking out!! He thought he went to far deep and popped the water bag? Lol after he rushes me to the emergency room they had told him that the baby decided to come while we were having sex it was a normal thing lol now my husband says well at least she pushed the eject button during sex and not walking around the stores lol.

College Fun

It was my 1st semester in college, which was out of state. Well this guy from my hometown went there too, we weren't best buds or anything but he had a truck and I didn't. He mentioned he was going home for the weekend if I wanted to go, so I jumped on.

It just so happened to be my brothers birthday weekend so we was gonna throw a huge party! so he was there bc they were buddies. We were all drinking and having a great time, everyone was wanting to leave bc it was gettin really late...so he asked me if I wanted to cruise with him. So I went...well we had to take someone home who lived in the country...we were talking and he was like "wow I never knew how beautiful you really were in high school..." So we pull over start makin out, jump in the bed of his truck, have the most uncomfortable sex I've ever had my entire life simply bc I had a tire rod under my back...then we move back to the cab of his truck...when we were done...we couldn't find the condom...we figured it fell outside, so he takes me home and we discuss what time were leaving tomorrow...he goes home.

 The next day, he picks me up and says hey I'm sorry about last night, it was a line I shouldn't have crossed bc your brother is my friend...I reply back to him it's all good, I was just looking for a piece of ass too! We laugh it off and he gets a phone call from his roommate and says yeah ill be right there...we pick up his roommate and head back to college. I'm driving of course because he's too hung over. We're about to cross the state line and I'm looking for my cell phone squirming all over because I can't find it...

 His roommate sticks his hands but the seat of the single cab truck and says I found something gooey! And realizes what it was..IT'S THE LOST CONDOM!!! He slung it across the windshield, and it's full of cum...we have no where to pull over for miles because were on the turnpike... The guy and I can't help but just laugh!!!!

Gay Guys have a Prank

About 4 years ago I met this guy on Myspace when it was popping, we talked for about a month and decided we we'd hook up. I have a car so he gave me directions and I head over. As I'm pulling up this car is leaving and I see its a guy, don't think nothing of it.. He comes out and takes me inside and his brothers and one of their friends is sitting there and he introduces me and they're laughing hysterically at me. So I'm just like whatever. He takes me to his mom n dads room and shuts the door n tells me they're out of town. So clothes come off and I'm giving him head and it tastes like he had cum on his dick?? AND it smells and tastes like shit so I start gagging and he's all proud like 'yeah, you like that big dick huh'. So I pretended to choke just so I could get it out of my mouth. We hit the bed and start fucking, after awhile he's said he wants to nut and tells me to bend over and I'm thinking he's gonna blow his load on my ass and he tries to put it in my butt, now keep in mind I cannot handle it in my butt so I freak out and he just rides me doggy style and pulls out to bust. He finishes and heads to the bathroom and while he's in there his phone was on the stand next to where I was getting dressed so I look at it and it says 8 missed calls and the name says 'Shane ♥' ,.. Again I didn't think anything of it.. He comes out and call's 'Shane ♥' back and says 'oh I'm not home yet, just go to my house n tell my brothers you're there to see me and you'll wait in my room'
Then he turns to me and says 'um stay in here and be quiet! Ima go jump the fence and walk around like I just got here.' Then he calls his brothers in and tells them the 'plan' and tells em to walk me out when he goes in the room with them. ..Now I'm like ok wtf is going on?! So I stay in the room and his older brother stays in there with me while he's hopping the fence and out of nowhere starts laughing? I asked him what was so funny and this guy can seriously not stop laughing! He caught his breathe and says "so what's it like tasting another guys asshole?"
I gave him a wide eyed look and asked "WHAT?!"
Then he says "Dude, you just hooked up with a flamer!" I'd never heard that word before so I ask what's a 'flamer'??
 He says "He's fuckin gay!! He just fucked another guys ass before you got here and the one that's coming now, he's probably gonna fuck him to!!' Embarrassing! His brothers knew what I was there for and they just let it happen! Now I have nothing against gay people! I love em! :) but disgusting that I had the taste of ones ass in my mouth that night!

Too Drunk :D

My embrassing story. One night, i was on the prowl. my boyfriend had dumped me and i was on the rebound. My girlfriends took me out for a hot night on the town in redlands. I got wasted, went home with this guy, he was a little skinny, but what ever... beer and whiskey sure did help me get past that. We hooked up, apparently i was screaming ( that good, but too drunk to remember ) anyway. half way through, im like - i need to go pee, i leave, he passes out, i get lost on the way back to his bedroom and crawl into bed with his roommate; totally naked! Guy comes looking for me and wakes him and girl friend up, then me. i was mortified, walk of shame, back down the hall.

Allgeric Reaction

One night before bed, me and my boyfriend at the time decided to do our nightly ritual of getting off. I live by the oath that I was taught to give my man a blow job at least once a week. So this night was the night. After I swallowed him I lied down next to him proud of myself. About 45 mins to an hour later, I wake up choking. My throat is closing and it feels like liquid is flowing freely from my throat into my lungs and stomach. I am panicked no doubt and wake him up to take me to the ER.

Once we are there the doctor rushes to me and asks me if I am allergic to any medicines. I am unable to talk but my boyfriend tells him yes I am allergic to Penicillin. The doctor states that I am having an allergic reaction and wants to know if I ingested Penicillin. I quickly shook my head no, knowing I am deathly allergic. He asks well if you haven't ingested it how did you get it in your system, at that point my boyfriend is very embarrassed and says under his breath I am taking it. The doctor looked confused for mere seconds and then smiles. He says I can stop this reaction for you this time, but you should be more careful of what you digest from now on. I wanted to die!!